Hello hoomans –
I know you’re used to reading about advertising and stuff on here, but today I’m stepping up to the plate to tell you about what really makes the world go ‘round – Dogs!
My name is Charlie, also known by my fellow hoomans as Chuck, Chuckles, Sir-Lix-A-Lot, Charles Corginton, and of course my favorite – “The Goodest Good Boy Of All The Good Boys”.
I just turned 7 months, which is almost 5 in doggo years… meaning I still get to do whatever I want. My dad thinks he’s a pretty big deal, but we all know who really runs the show around here. If I ever think his head is getting a little too big, I make sure to leave him little presents in his office… you know, “presents” … or as I like to call them, puddles of love. For whatever reason, my dad doesn’t seem to appreciate them as much, but I think he’ll get around to it eventually. The nerve he has!
I can’t even start to explain how much I love going to work. At first, I just thought this was the norm… but one day, my dad thought I was misbehaving (I tend to disagree) and decided to show me around the bad side of town… show me how the “other” doggos had it. He wanted to make sure I knew how special I was to be able to go to work every day. I couldn’t believe my eyes! There were dogs living on the street, dogs cooped up in cages all day… how could anyone let such a thing happen! Ever since that day I have a new-found appreciation for the ability to go to work every day and help cheer up all the hoomans while they binge drink coffee and yell about hooman stuff.
First thing I do when I get to work is my happy dance. I’m a Corgi, so as the millennials say, I’m quite “thick”. I shake my corgi butt and run around to each office, making sure I put a smile on everyone’s face before they get their day started. I also work with two other doggos, Frank and Mack. They’re Schnauzers, meaning they basically look like two old German men that fought in The Great War. I love them. Sometimes Frank and I like to play fetch with our babies in the morning. Frank’s a great looking guy, but his beard kinda smells. Mack’s pretty hot… I’ve been wanting to take her out on a doggy date, but she thinks she’s out of my league. I’ll get her one day…
Every day at 9:15 my dad has a big meeting. I love meetings. It’s a great opportunity to learn about advertising and chew on stuff. Once the meeting is over, I do my doggo rounds and make sure everyone is happy throughout the day. My dad always makes me go outside shortly after to leave my presents in the grass… I can’t help but feel a little underappreciated when he makes me drop my presents off outside but I guess that’s how hoomans say thank you. After that, I go back inside and back to work. I hang out with my aunt’s and uncles all day, leaving them alone while they work but waiting for the moment they call on me for a quick 2 minutes of doggo love and attention.
Since I’m coming up on 5 years old, my dad said it’s time for me to go to school. I don’t actually HAVE to go to school, but I like to study on doggo stuff, like how I can make my workplace better by providing emotional support in the form of licks, cuddles, woofs and presents (the last one hasn’t caught on with the hoomans yet). There’s these things called “articles” that have tons of information on how us doggos can make the workplace better. For example – did you know that researchers reported pets may serve as a source of social support, perhaps more effectively than a spouse or close friend?! In addition to this, studies show that the presence of a dog in the workplace has triggered lower stress responses than workplaces where a dog is absent. Some studies even show that having a dog present in the workplace can even lower a hooman’s blood pressure! (My dad said that although this is just for fun, I need to provide a source for these things, so click HERE for all that stuff).
The Bottom Line:
The Bottom Line is… Unless you work out of a kitchen, you need a fellow doggo in the workplace! We make everyone happy, eat all the leftovers, increase productivity (whatever that means), lower stress levels AND provide emotional support for when the going gets ruff!